Thursday, January 25, 2007

'Years ago I preferred clever people. There was a joy in beholding
a mind bearing thoughts quickly translated into words, or ideas expressed
in a new way. I find now that my taste has changed. Verbal fireworks
often bore me. They seem motivated by self-assertion and self-display.
I now prefer another type of person; one who is considerate, understanding
of others, careful not to break down another person?s self-respect. My
preferred person today is one who is always aware of the needs of others,
or their pain and fear and unhappiness, and their search for self-respect.
I once liked clever people. Now I like good people.'
- Solomon Freehof


Thursday, January 18, 2007

Laughing my ass off -
It's the Ninja again.

'Run, Paul, run! Anywhere on earth but Ohio! There's a codependent, clingy, dysfunctional clan of weirdos there that is trying to drag you into a monotonous hell of watery chilli and mediocre sports franchises!'

Q: Are the people you kill bad in anyway?
Ninja: Yeah..yeah! BAD AT LIVING!

Q: What does a Ninja smell like?
Ninja: Regret.

Q: Can I have it back?
Ninja: You never had it to begin with!

Q: Why do I suck at life?
Ninja: Because you let life suck at you!

Q: How do Ninjas raise their children?
Ninja: From the dead.

Q: How can I best apply my Psychology degree to my Ninja skills, or vice versa?
Ninja: Try smoking cigars with your mother. Or vice versa!

Q: Hey are there self help books for lousy Ninjas?
Ninja: Yes. They're called funeral directories.

Q: Ninja, oh Ninja, wherefore art thou Ninja? Hast thou been slain by a Ninja who is yet more skilled than thou art?
Ninja: Yes. There ARE gay Ninjas.

Q: What do you think?
Ninja: Maybe.

Q: Do Ninjas fall in love?
Ninja: No. Ninjas glide silently into love with two swords drawn.

Q: How many people have you wrongly killed?
Ninja: Just one. But I went back the next day and I killed him correctly.

Q: What would you say is the proper etiquette for hugging a Ninja?
Ninja: DON'T.

Q: What do you think of Tom Cruise as the baddest Samurai ever?
Ninja: Tom Cruise was pretty bad but I've seen worse. There was actually a Samurai named hiccup who killed himself with a pen while he was signing up to become a Samurai.

Q: Who was the badass Ninja who trained you?
Ninja: His name was Badass. Sir Badass Killington.